What with Valentine’s Day just around the corner, it’s a great time to check in and see how your relationships are doing. If you’re single, you can use this time to really consider the type of Partner, you would love to attract in your life, however if you’re in a state of ‘I’m done with relationships’ as you’ve been hurt, then this is an opportunity to really embrace self-love and heal the wounds of the past.

2020 certainly gave us some time to re-evaluate our lives, it made us question what was really important and for many, it strengthened our relationships. We made time for our loved ones, squeezed our children just a little tighter and when we called our parents/grandparents, we really listened and appreciated the time together.

For others, it made us realise just how unhappy we were, how lonely life could be (for some, even when they were living in a house full of people) it made the cracks in relationships widen and life even more difficult to deal with, as we were stuck behind closed doors together with no escape…..

So this Valentine’s Day, we have thought about all of the beautiful souls out there and what they might be going through, you decide where you’re at and click on the link that’s relevant to you. Whatever happens, be kind to yourself and your loved ones this Valentines Day and let’s spread the love across the Planet xxx

For those already in Love:

So you’ve found your Soulmate, Life Partner, Husband, Wife, Lover, Best Friend.

When you’ve been together for a while, we sometimes forget why we fell in love in the first place, what sparked our interest, what part of them caught our eye. Valentines (or any other time for that matter) can be an opportunity to take a step back and remind ourselves of all the good times. As humans we can be all too quick to criticize and moan about all the things our Partners do or don’t do, but in order to re-kindle the flames, it’s really important to give thanks for all the good things that they do, the things that make you laugh and what we love about them.

You could create a gratitude journal just about your life partner in order that you focus on the positive, rather than allow those little niggles to take over and extinguish any flames of love and passion that once were.

On Valentine’s Day cook a meal together, take a bath or shower together, get dressed up for each other, do things together that you haven’t done in years, to remind yourselves why you fell in love. Sometimes people think that they would only find passion in a new relationship as their current one has turned into a comfortable old blanket that’s a bit thread bare but safe. That really doesn’t have to be the case. You can make your current relationship even better. You know everything about each other, imagine that feeling filled with passion, excitement and Love! Heaven…..

Here’s a little kit to reignite the flames of your relationship:

Red Candle – To light on Valentine’s Day, to represent love and passion burning within your relationship

Love Incense – To create a loving atmosphere during your time together on Valentine’s Day

2 x Rose Quartz – To be placed under your pillows at night (or on your bedside table) to really strengthen your love connection

So You’re Single but ready to meet ‘The One’

You may have been single for a while but just haven’t met ‘the one’ yet or maybe you’re newly single for whatever reason but don’t want to be alone.

Whichever you are, firstly, I would advise that you really give some thought to who you want to attract as a life-long mate.

If you’re on a bit of a rebound or been single for so long that you’re running out of hope, then I am absolutely talking to you!

When we’re feeling so low, lonely, desperate, this is what we put out to the Universe. ‘Hey Universe, look at me, I feel really shit because I don’t have a mate, so please bring me any old tosser that will treat me like crap because they can, because I can’t feel happy unless I have someone – anyone in my life…. Please, please, please….. STOP!!!!

If you’re still hurting from previous relationship, if you’re still scarred, please choose the 3rd option – Self-Love & Healing.

However, if you’ve spent some time alone, have got yourself together and are really ready to invite someone new in to enhance your life, then you’re in the right place.

First things first, really think about your current situation and the type of person that you would like to meet. If you’re single with young kids, do you need someone that is child friendly, if you’re single and child-free but want to travel, it’s no good inviting someone that is so driven by climbing the ladder at work and wouldn’t take the time off from work to come with you. Really think about their qualities, what will their current situation be? What will be their favourite pastime? What is their family situation? How much do they earn? How hard do they have to work to get it? How much time do they have for you?

It’s great to think, I need someone with money, a house and a great job, but if they’re working 60-70 hours a week, what quality time would you have together. Think about your own values and where you would fit in. Would you be happy to be a stay-at-home Mom/Dad keeping everything going while your Partner goes out to work or would you want 50/50 or maybe you’d like to attract a stay-at-home Partner so that you can go out and bring home the money. It may sound farfetched, but you really have to think about these things.

Once you have an idea of who you would like to attract, really think about your benchmark, your absolute no-no’s, so that when you’re out (when we’re allowed) and you get chatting, have your ‘warning signs’ ready and if they’re a no-no – move on quickly.

Ok, now you’re almost ready for some magic….

Write down on either white or pink paper:

Dear Universe,

It is Valentine’s Day, the day for love and passion. Today I am ready to invite my Soulmate, my Lover, my Life Partner (whatever you want to call them)

I want the perfect partner for me, the kind that will bring love, joy, happiness and fulfilment to my life. The kind that I too can be the Yin to their Yang.

Now write down all of the qualities that you would like to attract from this person.

Please note: You cannot make someone love you that does not feel the same way, so try not to ‘make’ someone love you, using spells.

The Universe/God/Angels/Whoever (you choose) supports me and I know that you will bring about the best person for me and my future happiness.

I give thanks that they will come at the right time for me, I trust in the journey.

Amen or And it is so

Once you’ve finished your letter, take a red candle, light it and safely light the paper, preferably outside or with a fireproof dish (or good old fashioned kitchen sink) let the entire paper burn.

Give thanks that your cosmic order has been heard and just let it go.

Don’t worry yourself about how or when, just ‘know’ that he/she/they are on their way to you.

Love Incense. To burn at the start of your ritual, whilst writing your cosmic order.

Red Candle. To use during your cosmic ordering ritual

Rose Quartz. To place under your pillow or keep on you to invite love into your life

Green Aventurine, To bring about positive energy and an abundance of love

Self Love & Healing

So you’ve been hurt or are still really really hurting. You may still be in a toxic relationship that you just don’t have the strength to get out of. OK, you’ve got some serious healing to do.

These things don’t happen overnight, it can take years or even a lifetime to reach this point. When you feel so down on yourself and even though you know someone makes you so unhappy, you stay cause at least you know what you’re getting and it’s better the devil you know, then its time to start working from within, cause no amount of spells or frog kissing are going to turn an arsehole into prince/princess charming. Believe me, I’ve tried…..

You cannot control the uncontrollable, but you can start the healing process from within. What you don’t want to do is carry on as you are, with the same scars and unhealed wounds, cause guess what, you’ll just go and attract another arsehole to fill the boots of the last one. Please STOP!

Now this may take some time but if you put the effort in, it has the potential to change your life forever – in a wonderful way. Imagine actually feeling happy to be on your own and only open to new relationships if they’re going to enhance your life, rather than feeling as though life is completely pointless without someone supposedly ‘making’ you happy.

Valentine’s Day is about love, passion and fun. So use this wonderful energy to start healing those wounds from the past and really thinking about what makes ‘You’ happy. Many of us that have spent years trying to make someone else happy, only to be told what a crap job you’re doing, we forget to even consider ourselves.

So use this day to sit down and really think what makes you happy, go back to childhood if you have to. Maybe you loved art or music or spending time in the greenhouse with your Grandad, whatever it is, write it all down.

Next write down what you love about yourself and if you struggle with this (I’m sure you will) call a dear friend and ask them what they love about you or think what compliments you have received in the past. Write at least 5-10 things down.

Now write down all of the horrible things that have been said/done to you during your previous/current relationship that really hurts and your body reacts when you think about it. I mean everything, get it all out on paper.

Spell time:

Black candle – protection

Red candle –  Love

Purple Candle – healing

Bath Salts

Rose Quartz

Black Obsidian, Tourmaline or Hematite

Take the list of horrible things either outside or over the sink.

Light your black candle

Call upon your guardian angels, God, The power of the Universe – whatever you believe in.

Call upon Archangel Michael for protection

Read the list out loud if possible (in your head if not) and say:

‘I am now ready to release myself from these lies, these hateful words and situations that serve me no purpose. I call upon the healing Angels (Or who/whatever you believe in) to cut all the negative cords attached and release me from the negative emotions, low vibrations and toxicity of which I’ve been held  prisoner to.

I call upon Archangel Raphael to heal those severed cords and heal my emotions in order that I can raise my vibration and gain the strength I need to heal. I give thanks for the lessons received, however now I am ready to let go and be free to be me, free to see that I deserve happiness, love and respect.

Amen or and it is so

Now set light to the paper using the black candle, watch it burn completely and really feel it release from your energy, your gut, from within.

Next take either a red or purple candle and read the positive traits about yourself or if you really struggle, imagine that you’re talking to your best friend that really needs your support right now and tell her/him how amazing they are.

Hold the paper and light the candle and say:

This is the real me (read out the sheet aloud or in your head). Now say ‘I deserve love, happiness, kindness and respect, it is my given right on this earth. I am no longer willing to accept anything less. I call upon my highest good and ask that you bring about the right people, situations and miracles required in order that I can be the happiest version of myself possible on this planet’

Amen or And it is so

Note: For some this may take several attempts to really believe that you deserve happiness but if needs be, create weekly rituals of writing down positive words about yourself and carry out the last exercise every week until you truly believe it.

Next, take a bath with either Himalayan or Epsom salts and allow all the negativity to be released from your energy body (again do this as a weekly ritual) when you pull the plug out, imagine any negative thoughts/fears being taken down the plug hole where Mother Earth will release them for transmutation.

Now place your stones either under your pillow or keep them on you for protection and self love.

There can be no stronger love than self-love and once you realise just how beautiful you are you will never allow another to take the power of self-love away from you again or be treated any less than you deserve.

Happy Valentines Day Beautiful Soul xxx

For more Valentine’s gift ideas…